Going through a relationship rough spot? It might be time to bring a third person into the bedroom. Couples everywhere are becoming more and more liberated when it comes to strict monogamy, leaving you freer than ever to explore a threesome with loving and open partners. The only problem is: all these couples seem to be having threesomes with Amanda. We sought to explore the trend and its origins. While we can never know for sure why Amanda is the threesome partner of choice, here are some reasons we think might make sense.
Amanda is a “cool girl”.
You may be thinking, “Does the ‘cool girl’ even exist and if so what does she look like?” Well, she does exist, and she’s Amanda! Amanda knows about sports and loves beer and she’s still a size zero. Chances are, you don’t fit the definition of cool girl. Statistically, you probably have a great personality, but let’s face it: Amanda is just a lot more open than most women, she doesn’t get all weird about sex stuff, and she doesn’t have too many expectations of the people around her. This means that men would love to bring her into their relationship, and their partners are okay with it, as long as it’s just a one-time thing.
Amanda has her life together.
Careful scientific observation shows that Amanda is equally cool with being rowdy with the guys, as she is with giving a TED talk about fiber optics! Despite her down-to-earth personality, Amanda is super organized behind the scenes, which means she’d probably be able to pleasure two partners simultaneously in a ménage a trois. People can imagine Amanda letting down her hair because she’s so confident and successful, unlike you. She just has that thing! Amanda hooked up with a couple on Tuesday last week, and she still came to work on time! Wow! When it comes to making people feel at ease and taken care of, Amanda outperforms all other subjects studied.
Amanda is a self-professed “hyper-empath”.
Amanda claims to feel other people’s emotions more deeply than most. AKA, she just cares about people in a way you probably never will! In layman’s terms, she’s a people person. That’s why, when someone says their partner suggested a threesome to spice things up, she’s always right there to lend a hand. Amanda empowers couples to express how they really feel in ways people with a more average amount of friends, such as yourself, never could, which makes them want to invite her over for sex. Ugh, Amanda is so cool.
Amanda knows those guys in finance.
Remember that weird Vanity Fair piece about how Tinder sucks and we’re all dying? Well, according to various reports, Amanda knows those guys who work in finance! Her dating life is very glamorous, and it makes surveyed couples think that if they have a threesome with her they can reclaim their “edge”. It’s very likely that you don’t really have an edge. You probably have your cats and sweaters and stuff! In lab reports, Amanda was observed recalling that she went to a sex club in Berlin—and not just to watch. Can you imagine?
Amanda deep-throated a banana at the office party.
Some people said it was a little inappropriate, but deep-throating that banana sure put Amanda on couples’ radar! All the guys got really excited and all the women said “Jesus Christ Amanda” while averting their eyes. Our thorough observations indicate that the only thing you’ve done with your mouth at the office is eat halal food too loudly. This is why Amanda is fun for two people to have sex with!
Given these reasons, you can understand why all of these couples are having threesomes with Amanda. It’s only a matter of time before she gets a profile about her impact on the East Williamsburg dating scene in a national newspaper. Go, Amanda!
