In an uncomfortable story coming out of a local Whole Foods, 26-year-old Helena Matthews is so horny that she’s making everyone in the popular organic grocery store play truth or dare with her.
Luckily, we were able to ask Helena about what exactly she was thinking when she tried to rally the entire store to play this mildly sexy game with a store full of strangers.
“When I walked into Whole Foods, I was super turned on,” Helena said. “I was so horned up, in fact, that I suggested playing a game of truth or dare with everyone else in the store. Surprisingly, a handful of people were super down for it.”
Truth of dare is obviously the best way to get people to strip and/or kiss each other, which made it the perfect thing to play in the middle of Whole Foods, according to Helena.
“It’s never a bad time to play truth or dare,” she told us. “Even if you’re in the produce section with a bunch of medium-hot, random strangers!”
However, it’s safe to say that several other shoppers were completely caught off guard by the proposition.
“I was looking for nutritional yeast when I heard someone yell in the middle of the store about starting a game,” one Whole Foods patron named Maria Gomez said. “When I found out that the game was truth or dare, I realized that the person must be super horny.”
Well, she’s definitely right about that!
“Of course I was met with a lot of hesitation at first,” Helena told us. “But once I kicked it off, things definitely started rolling in the right direction.”
Sources report that when shoppers picked “dare”, Helena told them to lick store products, take off their clothes, and kiss each other, and when they picked “truth”, she only ever asked whether they’ve gone “all the way” or not.
“It was super uncomfortable,” another shopper, Tyler Johnson, said. “I just wanted to buy an eggplant, not be forced to answer questions about my sexual past.”
At press time, Helena was reportedly escorted out by security.
“Next time I think we should just play spin the bottle,” Helena told us. “Y’know… if they ever let me back in Whole Foods again.”
