In a catastrophic blow to your ego, your friend Grace just said a piece of clothing was “so you”, which obviously made you question everything about who you are and what everyone thinks of you.
The comment was made as the two of you were browsing the shirt rack while out thrifting together.
“I was just pulling out a random shirt to get a better look at it,” you told reporters. “And before I could even process what I was looking at, Grace was at my side, raving about how ‘me’ it was.”
It wasn’t until after Grace walked away and you truly saw the shirt, that you realized how devastating her comment actually was.
“I know it was just an offhand remark and probably doesn’t mean anything,” you told reporters. “But I can’t stop thinking about whether there’s some truth to it. What if I’ve been wrong about what ‘me’ is this whole time? What if I really am a pilling, neon green, Shein tank top from 2014?”
Grace, who has a sordid history of finding the worst items for you to try on whenever you go shopping together, insists she meant no harm with her comment.
“I just thought the tank top was cute!” she said after you asked her to clarify what she meant by her comment. “And lime green is so your color.”
You were in no way reassured by this explanation.
“She’s either intentionally trying to hurt me, or she genuinely believes lime green is the color that represents me the best. Either way, it’s a lose-lose.”
While Grace went on to assure you that she made her initial statement without really thinking, you were already deep in a paranoid, self-destructive spiral, calling into question everything you ever believed about yourself.
“I’m at the point where I’m truly questioning who I am at my very core. If this shirt is ‘so me’ then I’ve spent my entire existence being completely wrong about how the world sees me. Am I the human embodiment of fast fashion? Am I nothing more than a poorly executed trend, here one day, and gone the next? Is my mere existence harmful?”
At press time, you were seen holding up a graphic tee with the word “Cherish” emblazoned on it in a cursive font, whispering, “Is this…me?”