On a recent summer afternoon, 28-year-old Adam Hayes remarked how “sundresses are so hot” on women. The comment seemed to reference a woman, dressed in a dark brown dress that happened to blow in the wind, who walked by him and his “best buds” day-drinking in the park.
“It’s just so sexy when women wear sundresses – I love the way the skirt moves when they walk,” Adam said while re-tying his boat shoes, “It looks so carefree and it’s just, like, summer vibes, you know?”
Adriana Rocha, another park goer who happened to hear Hayes’ unsolicited, yet loudly declared comment, disagreed.
“Yeah, I don’t know what that guy was talking about. That dress was definitely made of corduroy,” said Adriana. “I mean, sure, the sun’s out and she’s wearing a dress, but it definitely wasn’t a sundress.”
While reporting on this story, another woman in a black cocktail dress strode by, which Adam made sure to point out.
“See? Right there!” Adam said. “Aren’t sundresses the hottest thing in the world? God, I love summer.”
When asked exactly what he thought a sundress was, Adam mulled it over.
“I guess…it’s like those dresses that flow in the wind? And women wear them in the summer because it’s hot out because it’s all swooshy. And the legs – I’m a legs guy, okay? I’m not creepy or anything, but sure I’ll check out a nice pair of legs in a skirt when they walk by,” Adam told reporters. “And in the summer? When the sundresses are out, the legs are OUT.”
“A short dress. He’s literally describing every short dress in the world,” Adriana, who could still overhear Adam’s loud musings, said. “The man just likes checking out women in loose, short skirts.”
Adriana incidentally happened to be wearing a long, floral sundress at the time of reporting. When asked about Adriana’s dress, Adam looked over and gave it a dismissive wave.
“That? Nah, that’s too long to be a sundress. Sure it’s flowy, but what’s the point if you can’t see her legs?”
Adam’s buds, Marco Leone and Kyle Park, also agreed Adriana’s dress was in fact, not a sundress. However when prompted further, all three seemed to have different ideas on what a sundress actually was. Marco insisted it was “dresses with those thin straps” while Kyle swore it was “that, like, see-through fabric” that made a sundress.
At press time, the three could still not agree on what exactly a sundress was.
