The latest statement made by the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals was a particularly shocking one, which demanded that everyone consider the speciest implications of eating animal crackers in one’s soup.
Their number-one target? Iconic former child star of the golden age of Hollywood, Shirley Temple.
“The DVD set known as the Shirley Temple Little Darling Collection set an extremely damaging tone for the treatment of animals,” PETA spokesperson Loraine Dupree told reporters. “And it was wildly irresponsible to play that advertisement campaign over and over to millions of children all over the country.”
PETA has claimed that consuming animal crackers in soup is essentially a gateway for people to support the consumption and abuse of real life animals in the future.
“It’s going to be challenging to fight the precedent that Shirley Temple set when she said ‘Animal crackers in my soup, monkeys and rabbits loopty loop,’” Dupree said. “But it’s the right thing to do, and we demand that everyone stop putting them in their soup and cease doing the loopty loop immediately.”
According to reports, PETA has organized multiple protests demanding the end of this Shirley Temple DVD set ad, as well as the end of people eating them with a nice tomato soup or maybe a minestrone.
“If you’re sick enough to put the shapes of animals in your meals,” Dupree told us, “you’re probably fine with eating the real thing, and you need to reconcile that with God, and nature.”
At press time, PETA has also decided to launch their campaign against another popular ad in the 2000s: Zoobooks.
“Animals are not for our consumption,” one PETA representative told us. “And that includes putting them in cool little books to read too!”