With high rates of student debt, inflation, and rapidly increasing housing costs, millennials looking to buy homes are entering the market at a historically bad time. These combined factors have led many experts to predict that millennials’ best chance at home ownership is to spend the night in a haunted mansion with the promise of inheriting the property, should they make it through ‘til morning.
“Frankly, it’s a bad time to be entering the market as a buyer,” says real estate agent Carmen Morales. “So prospective home owners’ best shot is really an inheritance situation — specifically one where they’re invited with a mysterious handwritten note to spend the night in the shadowy mansion of an eccentric, deceased millionaire.”
“There are pros and cons to this route,” Carmen adds. “I mean, upkeep on an old mansion like that is a full-time job, and you’re going to get taxed to hell. But if you survive the harrowing night of terror and revelation, that should honestly be the least of your worries.”
In such a competitive market, many millennials are eager to try their luck at being summoned to a remote estate with a small group of strangers, the interconnectedness of which is sure to unravel throughout the trying night ahead.
“I’ve been renting for decades,” says 38-year-old Sasha Thomas. “I just don’t have the buying power of the generations before me. I’ve been trying to befriend old, outlandish characters in the hope that they’ll unexpectedly die and leave me everything in the will, but that runs the risk of getting me framed for murder, so honestly it would be even more ideal to just stay in a haunted mansion for a night of endurance and mind games.”
Home ownership has long been an integral part of the American dream, and despite trying times, it’s a comfort to know that young people are still dreaming.
“Obviously only one person will make it through the dark night of shock, horror, and secrets,” says Sasha. “And maybe I’m just some entitled millennial, but I think that one person could be me!”