Researchers from the University of Michigan have confirmed that approximately 87% of significant scientific discoveries are the result of a scientist taking one singular walk without listening to music, podcasts, or some other form of media.
“It took us a long time to recognize the pattern, but once we did, we couldn’t unsee it,” said Lead Researcher Talia Wallace. “From evolution to gravity, it seems almost every discovery that changed the course of history happened on a walk where a scientist considered listening to a tune but then was like, ‘Maybe I should just think for a bit. That could be nice.’”
Sources confirm that these music-less walks were the perfect, boring incubator for scientists to think of something batshit – so batshit it just might work.
Not every scientist utilized this method intentionally. According to the newly minted research, Hubble penned his titular Law of Expansion – which proves galaxies are moving away from Earth at speeds proportional to their distance – in 1929 when he had to walk from his house to the grocery store but couldn’t bring his electric re-recording of Rhapsody in Blue.
“Sometimes you’re on a walk and you realize you’ve forgotten your headphones at home, but it’s too late to turn back now, so you’re just going to have to suck it up and think for a bit,” Talia continued. “Well, turns out that’s when the magic happens. We can thank those walks for everything from Kepler’s Laws of Planetary Motion to the Doppler Effect.”
Researchers even managed to confirm that Einstein cracked the code to his famous Theory of Relativity by taking one walk where he resisted the urge to blast the latest Bing Crosby hit.
“Yes, walking with music is one of life’s greatest pleasures,” Talia continued. “And if I ever forget my AirPods at home, I do immediately beg for death. But sometimes we have to be uncomfortable – extremely uncomfortable – to force our minds to do great things. Now, knowing this, would I ever intentionally leave my music at home? Absolutely not. I’m not a masochist.”
Despite the revolutionary nature of this research, members of the public did not appear shocked.
“That makes total sense,” said local college student Michael Ryerson. “I took a walk without music one time and immediately came up with the ‘Michael Spectacular.’ That’s when you use Four Loko as contact solution, so your eyes vibrate. Pretty sick stuff.”
While the research definitively showed that walking without music could bolster creativity, productivity, and overall cognitive health, all researchers agreed they would not do it intentionally, even for all the money in the world.
