Sorry I’m Late, I Was Praying to God for the First Time in My Life

I’m so sooooo sorry, I’m totally not one to take your time for granted, but by no means does my arrival suggest that I don’t care. I care, I really do! But since this past weekend, something fundamentally changed within me and I just got caught up in praying to God for the first time in my life.


I know this isn’t like me, but these are somehow abnormal times compared to the last four years. I’ve always considered myself to be a liberally spiritual person who doesn’t necessarily believe in “God”. So please forgive me for my tardiness, I’ve never done this whole “praying” thing before so I’m trying to figure out how it works.


I know there’s a right time and place to pray, but I don’t really believe in the whole idea of “church” or “ritual” or “Christianity”. It’s all corrupt and kind of freaks me out. I guess I could be swayed to check out a church depending on what they pray for.


Regardless, I started praying immediately because I’m hoping God gets back to my requests as soon as possible.


The news is so zany right now. Given the current state of things, I just think we need all the help and guidance we can get. While many are praying for health and restoration in our political system, let’s just say I’m asking God to join me on the offensive.


I’m conscious that I shouldn’t let my personal choices and beliefs get in the way of my career and that this isn’t considered a valid excuse, so I ask for your forgiveness while I beg my God to answer my small glimmer of hope! Because, my God, this could really be it!!!


I swear I’m usually not like this. I take pride in being on top of my work, maintaining a healthy work-life balance, and not letting any hardships or letdowns keep me from getting things done. But wow did I need to take a moment to talk to our Lord and Father in Heaven about what’s going on and see if there’s a way he could kind of sway things in my favor.


I thought 2020 was going to be absolute shit, but maybe this is the Year of our Lord!



This might come as off-brand because you all know I’ve been a desensitized pessimist over the past few years. It’s hard to get excited about anything. But ah!! This could be it! I just feel so compelled to connect with it all!!


I know I shouldn’t wish ill will upon others. My moral compass guides me to believe we’re all humans who deserve good health and prosperity despite our backgrounds and affiliations. However, we’re right on the edge of getting something I’ve been wanting for four years, so pardon my tardiness while I pray for a small favor that seems fairly easy to get done at this point.


Maybe what would help is if we all join hands and get into a group prayer. Not only do I think that would be a good community and culture-building exercise, but maybe God will get it done if we’re screaming at him. I know it’s not really work-place appropriate, but there’s strength in numbers, you know?