There is so much handwringing these days around what to do to avoid the coronavirus. Some people are wearing masks, and other people are refusing to leave the house altogether. Frankly, I’m sick of people who let fear of a deadly virus control their lives. As for me, I refuse to live in fear. And that’s exactly why I will continue living with this murderous clown who keeps trying to kill me and everyone I love.
It just pains me to see lots of my friends yelling, “Wear a mask!” and freaking out over every little cigarette I share with a stranger or mysterious clown-like figure I let into my house on a dark, rainy night. I’m just not built like those people – I can’t let fear dominate every aspect of my life. I’m a pretty tough cookie, and I don’t get scared over a silly clown whispering in my ear “I’m going to kill you” while I sleep – not even when he does it in my dreams.
And if you’re wondering – yes, I did ask him directly if he’s trying to murder me (I’m not some kind of pussy). And he said, “Of course. I was sent by the devil to kill you and your family, but not before I slowly peel your skin off with a maniacal joy of a true psychopath.”
But I don’t let that shake me. That would just be the fear talking.
And sure, I have two children, a husband and my mother with me all in the same house, and my inaction may cause my entire family to also be brutally murdered by a seemingly haunted clown (?), I’m just not letting that sort of thing control my life. After all, my mother is 91 years old, and she doesn’t let the clown who constantly tries to stab her in the shower be a burden. So why should I?
In the end, I don’t need the government, or friends, or fearful, pleading neighbors telling me I should “put on a mask” or “tell the clown to leave” – I’m an American and I have the right to make my own choices.
Anyway, fear spreads faster than any virus or serial murdering clown. And if I do get brutally murdered by an evil clown? Well, it is what it is.