Self-Medicating with Selfies

Feeling down? Take a selfie! Recent medical research and celebrity case studies prove that taking a selfie and posting it to social media can provide temporary therapeutic benefits for latent mental health issues. Here are some classic selfie poses to suit any type of mental breakdown:


The Kissy Face Selfie

Show the world that you love yourself with a kissy face selfie. You’re emanating peace and LOVE, you’re so social and happy, and all of Instagram will know it. This is the perfect band-aid fix for your constant self-loathing. Those feelings aren’t real if you never show them to anyone!


The Montage Selfie

Take pictures of yourself with different facial expressions so you can really explore that multiple personality disorder you might be developing. Filter is really important here. The right contrast and color enhancement can help you decide just which personality you’re in the mood to put on that day.



The ‘Delusions of Grandeur’ Selfie

Take a selfie in front of a place that you wish you worked at or lived in. Forget about that 2-year string of unemployment by taking a happy selfie while you’re on a tour of a Hollywood studio, with an ambiguous caption that implies you may have been paid to be there, rather than vice versa. Let those Facebook “likes” come rolling in!


Post-Shower Bathroom Selfie

This shows everyone on Twitter, that yes, you still bathe AND that you love your body enough to take a picture of it in a towel. The key here is implying that you definitely bathe on the regs. You’re a fully functional person who bathes on an almost daily basis. #backthefuckoff


The Up The Nose Selfie

Take an up-your-nostrils selfie for a look that says, “Am I crazy? I don’t even know what I’m posting anymore. This is my 19th selfie today.” Maybe someone will be able to see into your brain and try to figure out what the hell is wrong with you. Maybe someone will see it and volunteer to help you seek treatment. At the very least, there’s a pity like in it for you and a little extra motivation for your next round of selfies.

Selfies are your first step on the road to realizing that maybe you should try to get on the road to recovery after that breakup or that job loss. Remember: A picture is worth a thousand desperate words.