In an exciting turn of events, Madison, WI resident Rita Hines got a neat surprise when she picked up her anxiety medication from the pharmacy: a stray onion ring in her Lexapro prescription.
Wow! What a nice addition to her mental wellness regimen!
“I’m calling it a happy accident,” Rita told reporters, theorizing that the deep fryer the battered onion rings were cooked in must have been right next to the pharmaceutical granulator machine that manufactured the SSRIs. “Or who knows, maybe someone at the Lexapro plant decided to throw in a little something special to brighten my day!”
Sources confirm Rita didn’t notice the crispy bonus to her 20mg Lexapro tablets, which she uses to treat three different anxiety disorders, until she went to take her nightly dose right before bed.
“Isn’t that the best feeling?” Rita added. “I was so excited about the unexpected late-night snack that I forgot to take the actual Lexapro and had brain zaps the whole next day from withdrawals!”
Um, worth it!
As if the onion ring wasn’t enough of a reward, we’re told the crumbs and grease from the crispy fried appetizer seeped into the rest of the pills in the bottle, giving Rita more crunchy-sweet flavoring to look forward to in the nights ahead.
“I mean, yeah, obviously the main thing I wanted was a month’s worth of antidepressants to balance my serotonin levels, but it was a nice extra goody,” said Rita. “The onion ring did take up a lot of space in the prescription bottle though, so I’m short about 12 days worth of medicine.”
We spoke with Rita’s boyfriend Terrence, who reportedly was already starting to fall asleep when he abruptly woke up to the smell of something deep fried in his room.
“I’ve always given Rita a hard time about taking those things, because she’s altering her brain chemistry and whatnot,” Terrence said. “But after seeing her pull that thick golden-brown circle out of her bottle, I think it’s about time we destigmatize the use of SSRIs.”
Rita reports that she is a little nervous that the savory surprise may ruin future prescriptions of the antidepressant for her.
“Now every time I re-up my Lexapro, I’m going to be disappointed if there’s no onion ring inside,” she said. “But I’m glad I got to experience the thrill of it at least once.”
Here’s to hoping more in the mental health community luck out like her!