Riding scooters is not only an easy alternative to walking, it’s also a quick way to look and feel younger! Here are some scooters that will make you embody your seven-year-old self again, channeling the vibrant self that existed back before the problems of the world came crashing down upon your head.
Huffy Frozen Scooter 2 Wheel (Target, $34.99)
Having trouble catching up with your kid since they always seem to scoot away from you? Even on foot, they always seem to flee from you screaming, ” I hate you, Mommy!” Get the same scooter as your daughter so she can see your younger cooler side, start to empathize with you, and maybe finally let you get to know her. Also when you are both scooting down the street people won’t be able to tell you two apart. Like mother like daughter!
Just because your child went missing doesn’t mean you can’t feel youthful. Use the scooter they left behind to feel young again. Emotional pain adds age, but this scooter will take off years of agonizing pain!
Razor California Longboard Scooter (Target, $28.49)
Show up on your next date on this baby and your date will be like “Really? I mean, come on. Can’t you just walk?” He will never imagine you’re 37!
Pulse Performance Krusher Freestyle (Target, $39.99)
Getting a colonoscopy is something all women have to do when they reach middle age. Ride on over to your appointment in this scooter and they will be so confused that they’ll probably turn you away. No colonoscopy for you, little girl! Go buy candy instead!
Razor A5 Lux Scooter (Walmart, $69.99)
Skateboarding attracts bad boys, but when you ride a scooter you attract younger less emotionally conflicted guys. Guys that like scooters are usually between the ages of six and eleven—score! Spending time with a guy this age will make you feel super young and smart, but remember: It’s illegal!
Do not let a divorce make you feel old and worthless. He may have gotten the house, the kids, and the boat, but he left you with this scooter! Ride this guy around town and you will feel like you are 11 again. When you were 11 you didn’t even know what an affair was!
Fuzion CityGlide Cruising Scooter (Walmart, $53.29)
It was sad when your father left you in the park alone when you were seven on your scooter. Relive the part of your youth before you knew your father was destined to disappoint you forever with this yellow scooter. It even has a great warranty!
Razor E300 Electric Scooter (Amazon, $19.28)
Electric scooters are great to give off the vibe of “Hey I can’t afford a car but I can afford this expensive scooter!” When you are riding this electric scooter everyone will think your dad got it for you for your Sweet 16! When you park it at your desk, everyone will forget that you are actually 42 and have a 401k and the only thing your dad got for your Sweet 16 was drunk.
Any of these eight girltastic scooters will make you feel like the best kind of woman—a young one!
