Sarah Reveals She’s Had Abs This Whole Time

In a startling revelation out of Chula Vista, California, Sarah Almeida shocked friends at a pool party as she casually showcased her washboard abs to everyone around her.


It took some prodding and discussion, but Sarah eventually revealed that no, the abs are not a new thing, she’s just one of those people who puts on muscle really easily and has very little body fat.



“I do like a few crunches at the gym a couple times a week,” Sarah offered, enraging everyone within earshot. “But this isn’t really something I was going for.”


“I know she can’t really help it,” says Lisa Joseph, who has known Sarah for over two years. “I just wish she would’ve said something – like, I’ve been talking to this person all this time, while those rippling abs were hanging out just under her shirt.”


“It’s really not a big deal,” Sarah explained, when we sent over some follow-up questions. “Some people have muscles that are more visible, I guess.”


“Yes but why weren’t they visible?” asks friend Frank Parson. “That’s what you have to ask yourself. Why was she hiding this major asset all along?”



“Some people build their entire personality around their abs,” added Frank. “Why hasn’t she?”


“Ugh, this is why I never wear a fucking two-piece,” says Sarah.