Few things are scarier than finding yourself face-to-face with a penis wrapped in its own foreskin, but it happens to many women every day. One minute you’re making out with a man you met at the bar, and the next minute, you’re praying someone will mug you so you won’t have to touch “it”. So here are a few tips to help you break free from an uncircumcised penis:
Step 1: Identify.
The first step to avoiding foreskin is being able to properly identify foreskin. “Many times the victim is so confused they only realize they touched foreskin after the fact,” says trauma expert Dr. Sheila Flander. “Does it look like a pig in a blanket? Does it look more like a second scrotum than a penis? Does it stretch like a Fruit Roll-up? Chances are, you’ve encountered foreskin.”
Step 2: Don’t Panic.
For those faced with an uncircumcised penis, it’s important to remember: “It may look like a monster, but it’s still just a penis,” says Dr. Flander. Panicking will only prevent you from thinking clearly, so don’t vomit or call the cops. Making noise will only scare the uncircumcised penis.
Step 3: Distract and deter.
If for some reason you can’t escape, or it has already entered your mouth, quickly switch gears by suggesting to put a sock on it. This will conceal the uncircumcised penis and hinder its ability to move about freely; soon you’ll be free to run away unharmed.
Step 4: Lie.
If he does test positive for foreskin, tell him you like him so much you don’t want to rush into things in this dark alley. He’ll understand.
Step 5: Run.
If you’re sure it’s foreskin you just touched, tap it firmly and repeat, “No!” loud and clear. This will disorient it and allow you to run away as fast as possible.
The worst mistake a victim makes is to blame herself and keep quiet about the incident. “It’s not your fault. It is never your fault,” says Dr. Flander. “It’s his parents’ fault.” Preventing something like this from happening in the future is also important, so never hesitate to politely interrogate your partner about his penis before you take him to that dark alley behind the bar.
