In a developing story out of 174 Madison St, Apt 4B, it has been reported that roommate Lila Thornton’s assertiveness and skill has helped her corner the prime living room real estate market.
“It was simple, really. I got in while the market was in a downturn,” said Lila, who works from home even when not in a pandemic crisis. “Now the comfiest spot on the couch belongs to Lila LLC.”
Lila went on to explain the sought after areas of the living room that she had managed to take over.
“I’ve got the dinner table covered in my unfinished puzzle and craft supplies, the bookcase is where I’m drying all the socks I washed,” she said. “And those were easy buys, no one even goes there when it’s not a national lockdown.”
“I even have the best fridge space, but that’s more of a hidden gem,” Lila added. “It’s a little rough at the moment, but the area is rapidly improving.”
Lila’s roommates are not pleased.
“I think she’s just being a little ridiculous about the whole thing, like, it’s not actually real estate,” said Mackenzie Willow-Hanley. “I keep having to move her little ‘for rent by owner’ signs off the ottoman.”
“Yeah, she drafted up a cease and desist and emailed it to me claiming that it was not within my squatters’ rights to watch Netflix the bean bag,” said Larissa Rodriguez. “She mentioned something about evicting us from the bay window? I don’t really get what she thinks this is.”
“If my roommates have any issue with my landlord capabilities, they can take it up with the superintendent,” said Lila. “Landlords are people too.”
