In exciting news coming out of your smartphone, your rich friend from college has abandoned trying to appear relatable, and the quality of her Instagram has skyrocketed as a result.
“We attended a private university, so there were a lot of rich kids, but Lola was rich-rich,” you explain. “I think she wanted to have a normal, campus-y college experience, so she would drink cheap beer and wear pajama bottoms to morning lectures or whatever, but since graduating, she’s really come into her own as a someone who isn’t afraid to show off her private jet.”
While Lola’s Instagram story used to feature standard photos of friends, and only the occasional lavish meal out, or head-to-toe designer outfit, she is now going full hog as a lifestyle of the rich and famous-type ‘gramer.
“Now that’s abandoned pretending to be the 1% in exchange for the 1% of the 1%, we’re getting Malibu mansions, we’re getting inexplicable access to wild animals, we’re getting private jet interiors,” you say. “Of course, I don’t approve of any of this politically, but it’s objectively more engaging content.”
And you’re not the only one benefiting from Lola’s new approach to social media.
“I used to be embarrassed of my wealth because I was in college and feeling really socially conscious,” Lola adds. “But now that I’m really owning my identity as an heiress, it’s basically all upside.”
“Everyone pretends to hate rich people, but I’ve never gotten more likes!”
“Some cognitive dissonance is definitely involved,” you say. “I have to forgot the sheer evil of capitalist exploitation, and I have to forget the times Lola made me split the cost of an Uber with her.”
“But once you get through that, it’s just like following a famous person, but one you watched throw up in a bathtub junior year,” you add. “Also please keep this all anonymous; I need to be invited to her wedding.”
Okay, toxic. Bring us, too!