REPORT: Most Encouraging Teacher From Youth Also Most Drunk

Eighth Grade Teacher

After years of quiet reflection on the people who influenced your life path the most, it has become very clear that the most encouraging teacher you had in high school also happened to be the most problematically drunk.


Ms. Amero, who always seemed out of sorts in the morning but seemed to always perk up after his “coffee”, always took an interest in your thoughts and actively supported your pursuits as a writer. Unfortunately, recent social media posts have made it clear that it was because she was drunk for at least half of the school day – and the entirety of Yearbook.


“You’re a friggin’ boss bitch,” Ms. Amero would say to you, seemingly breaking the formality of the teacher/student relationship in a cool, edgy way. “Just fuckin’ go for it and move to New York!”


While moving to New York did work out for you in the end, in retrospect, Ms. Amero was definitely slurring her words when she gave you this life-changing advice and encouragement.


Several other friends’ lives were changed because of Ms. Amero’s incredible, positive outlook on life, and an ability to zero in on student’s particular talents and abilities.


“One time in the girl’s bathroom she told me I should just skip college and be a teenage entrepreneur,” says your friend Samantha from AP English. “Then she asked me for my number and said that we’re besties now? She was right about the first part, but the last part was kind of crossing a line, in retrospect.”



“At least looks like Ms. Amero is a fun drunk and not a sad drunk,” you surmised from her social media. “But she probably has some personal stuff she needs to work out?”


Other friends confirmed that it was near impossible to know the signs that Ms. Amero was definitely drunk all the time, but when she would stop in the middle of class and say, “Let’s party!” it was not because she was trying to inspire spontaneity – it was because she was a solid three beers in.


“Honestly, I hope she gets some help,” added Samantha. “But I sold my first company when I was 21 because of her, so like, it’s all good.”