In an all-too-familiar report emerging from the passenger seat of your car, your mom is currently trying to sing along to a song that she is very obviously hearing for the first time.
The saga began when you took over the aux and chose to play the relatively obscure song, “Pasta” by Angie McMahon. It’s a four-minute 58-second-long ballad that slowly crescendos into alternative rock, and sources confirm even you don’t fully know the words despite listening to it pretty consistently for two years.
Immediately after the first downbeat, your mom began humming, a common precursor to singing. Your greatest fears were then realized when she started mouthing some words and correcting herself subtly when she got the lyrics wrong.
Her confidence only soared from there, however, and now she’s belting lyrics with a success rate of roughly 12%, which is worse than if she had just guessed words at random.
While your mom is clearly trying to make it seem like this is not the first time she’s heard this song – brute forcing her way through it with sheer confidence – reporters did confirm she literally does not know the name, singer, or what word will come next.
At one point, the singer very quickly says, “How am I simultaneously on top of someone’s pedestal and also underneath someone else’s shoe?” but your mother’s interpretation of this line sounded a little bit like, “How am I …shoe!”
Sources confirm the song isn’t yet done, but she has already missed three of the past four time-signature changes and wrongfully anticipated one key change, only to be left a full minor key higher than the singer.
While you are visibly concerned with this performance, she isn’t picking up on the fact you’ve noticed she doesn’t know the words. Instead, she’s nodding her head as if this is something she does all the time and keeps looking over at you proudly every 15 seconds.
“I don’t know what she thinks she’s proving here,” you told reporters sitting in the back seat while your mom continued singing along, oblivious. “It’s okay that she doesn’t know the lyrics, but not to be a huge bitch – this is kind of ruining the song for me.”
Sources confirm you’ve made a mental note to play it again by yourself as soon as you drop your mom at home.
