Journaling can be a great way to center yourself in the morning and keep track of your emotions, but the practice isn’t for everyone, especially people who are prone to extraordinary sadness upon the smallest exercise in self-reflection. Take this quiz to find out if journaling will make you feel better or bring you to the worst place you’ve ever been, emotionally speaking.
The day is just beginning. Describe the way you feel.
- Rejuvenated and excited! There are so many possibilities in the morning.
- As a cold dawn breaks, one becomes starkly aware of the soft hand of encroaching death. Things waste here. Things wallow here. They die.
You’re eating a yummy breakfast. How would you write about it?
- “I am eating an onion and cheese omelet. It is good!”
- “Nourishment of this body is an exercise in self-delusion, for it will fail me still. I wonder if birds know they’re flying. I wonder if they catch their breath as they fall.”
Have you ever had a long-lost, secret, unrequited love?
- Nope! I’m an open book.
- Yes, and I plan to rehash it every morning on the page.
You had a great night last night at a club with friends. How would you describe it the next day?
- I went out to a club with Rocko and Madeline. We danced the night away!
- With bass thumping in my chest, I became keenly aware of my own condition. I was not long for this world, nor were those who made it come alive. Whispers carry. Things waste here. Things wallow—did I already say this?
Define “wanton.”
- I do not know what that word is.
- The adjective, noun, or verb? I prefer the adjective: (of a cruel and violent action) deliberate and unprovoked.
Would you say you’re prone to spiraling into despair?
- Not really.
- Mmmm, I would describe it more like a twisting into despair, as a knife does into the gut.
Do people consider you “an optimist”?
- Sure!
- Fools, perhaps. Those who are not yet awake.
Results:
Mostly 1s: Journaling was made for people like you! Go ahead and write down everything you’re feeling. It’ll serve as a great record when you’re older and want to look back on this period of your life. Congrats on your awesome brain, dude!
Mostly 2s: Put the pen down, my love. It will not serve you. Journaling will undoubtedly bring you to the darkest place you’ve ever been, and who’s to say if we’ll be able to get you back. Maybe try another morning routine, like running or making pour-over coffee or cursing at the sky! Whatever gets you up and moving, but dear god do NOT narrativize before 11 a.m.!
