When Julien Baker, Lucy Dacus, and Phoebe Bridgers formed the supergroup boygenius, they had to know it would end like this. You probably already know which member’s solo album you connect with most, but it’s time to answer a much more pertinent question: Which member of boygenius should you invoice for the emotional damage they hath wrought? Someone has to pay, goddamnit. Someone will pay…
Which song off “the record” has had the most lasting impact on your life?
- “$20.” I was careening down a steep hill on a bike while listening to “In another life, we were arsonists,” and, needless to say, I was hit by a car.
- “True Blue.” I have several long-distance close friendships and sure, it does feel good to be known so well, but what the fuck, man? I can’t cook and cry at the same time.
- “Emily I’m Sorry.” My name is Emily and I was in the process of getting over a breakup when they released this. Still recovering.
Pick a line off of “$20.” Don’t think. Just pick. Fear not, soldier, you will get what you deserve.
- Run out of gas, out of time, out of money, you’re doing what you can just making it run.
- Take a break, make your escape, there’s only so much I can take.
- May I please have $20? Can you give me $20? I know you have $20. I KNOW YOU HAVE $20.
Which song off of the original “boygenius” EP has caused you the most emotional harm?
- “Stay Down.” “I look at you and you look at a screen”? Are you kidding me? I played this song for my therapist and she said, “I get it now.” I played it for my mom and we held each other.
- “Bite the Hand.” Did they have to say “I can’t love you how you want me to” three times? Once was enough, no?
- “Me and My Dog.” God, I want to be on a spaceship. Yeah, I fucking dream about it, and yeah, alright, I’ll admit it, I wake up falling. Sue me!
Pick a variation on “boygenius.” This one means nothing, but you look like you could use a pick-me-up.
- Malesmarty.
- Guyforbrains.
- Bruheinstein (aka Breinstein).
Results:
Mostly 1s: You should invoice Julien Baker! It is the first step to take towards healing. We know you don’t want to, but it must be done. Don’t look at her face. Stop looking at her face.
Mostly 2s: Send those bills over to Lucy Dacus! We’re sure she’ll understand. Maybe include a nice note about how you love her work. Or actually, don’t do that. It’s best to go no contact.
Mostly 3s: Get your due from Phoebe Fucking Bridgers, and resist the temptation to write “big fan” on the invoice. It will only make this harder. Release yourself. Start anew. Take a break. Make an esca–DAMN IT.
