With the constant, concerning development of new Covid strains, along with white people’s newfound confidence to put their own little spin on baby names, it can be almost impossible to tell whether that word someone just flung at you is the name of a deadly virus or the name of their new baby boy. Take this quiz to find out once and for all: Is that a new Covid strain or a white people baby name?
Does it end in “tyn,” “lee,” or “lyn”?
- No, it ends pretty normally – the beginning and middle is where I’m having trouble.
- Yes! But I don’t know why anyone would call a baby or a virus “Kynlee.”
Does the word contain an excess of x’s?
- No, but it does have a bunch of vowels. Does that mean anything?
- Jaxxon. Need I say more?
How do you feel when you say it out loud?
- Kind of scared, like something bad is going to happen.
- Yeah, same, definitely not good. It sounds like a harbinger of travesties to come.
Be honest: does the word sound like one someone just made up to be different?
- No, but it does sound like an old-fashioned name that some white person found in a long-forgotten text and decided to bestow upon their child like some sort of curse.
- Yeah, there’s no way Stephanleigh is a real name.
RESULTS:
Mostly 1s: That’s a new Covid strain, we’re sure of it! Wait, say the name again? Pirola? No, yeah, that’s a Covid strain – although, we wouldn’t be surprised if in, say, nine months’ time, there’s a new little baby Pirola walking around.
Mostly 2s: Yeah, that’s definitely a white people baby name. There’s no “Braxtyn” Covid strain – yet. Thank God, because that one would be a nightmare.
