Every night, Shawna Nestor takes a melatonin gummy and slips into her bed. But what happens after that is where everything changes: Shawna spends hours staring at her ceiling imagining complex Pokémon battles before drifting off to a restless sleep.
The future Pokémon master started having vivid battles play out on her ceiling one night after smoking too much weed.
“At first, I started seeing random Pokémon evolve on my ceiling, and I was like, cool,” Shawna says. “But then I started seeing elaborate battles in ways I never could have imagined before. Now I can play out the entire Ash vs. Gary battle from the Silver Conference entirely on my ceiling.”
It seems like only a matter of time before skinny white men will be dying to fuck Shawna at the North America International Championships!
Shawna, who is also hot, is excited to see how her visions evolve the more fucked up she gets before bed.
“I used to do drugs to calm my nerves and cope with my problems,” says Shawna. “But now I do them to see Eternatus destroy thousands of flabébés in a bloodbath on my ceiling.”
What is most unusual about Shawna’s newfound abilities is that she only watched her brother play Pokémon as a child and downloaded Pokémon Go for exactly one day when everybody was doing it.
“I actually don’t really know much about the intricacies of Pokémon,” says Shawna. “That’s why my new coach calls me an ‘intuitive player’.”
Shawna’s ability to play out thousands of scenarios in a Pokémon battle has gained the attention of thousands of dorks around the world.
“We’re very intrigued by her talents,” says Brandon Tan, arguably the best Pokémon player alive. “And once we can all meet in person again, it’s very clear that we will also probably want to hook up with her.
When we shared this with Shawna, she replied, “Yeah, that is probably why I should have kept this to myself.”
