Pet Sitter Just Gonna Use Your House to Smoke Weed

In a developing story, it appears that Shirley Kennesaw, the pet sitter you hired for the weekend, is just gonna spend the whole time smoking weed in your house.


“What’s your smoke detector situation like,” asked Shirley in her introductory email. “Not for any particular reason, just wondering.”


When she first came over to meet your dog, Shirley specifically asked to see the balcony, and also spent time scoping the windows and ventilation qualities of different rooms.


“Yeah, this’ll do. This’ll do just fine,” Shirley said to herself.


Shirley also made sure to check out the bedroom, then excused herself for a moment to call her boyfriend and let him know the “plan is a-go.”


“Are your neighbors pretty nosy? I just want to make sure that Kimpie and I have some good, uninterrupted play time,” she lied.


When you talked to Shirley about Kimpie’s walk schedule and strict medicine regimen, she said nothing for a full minute, before distractedly replying, “Okay yeah.”


While you’re thankful to have found someone so last minute, your husband Tom is skeptical.


“These are…not normal questions that a dogsitter would be asking,” said Tom. “It feels like she’s just gonna invite her boyfriend over and smoke pot here all weekend.”


“You think she’s just gonna do drugs and have sex in our house all weekend?” you asked him, smugly. “Yeah, okay, like a teenager would do that!”