Much to the chagrin of your sorry ass, autocorrect just fixed the word you purposely misspelled in a text to your crush in order to seem extremely chill and low-key about the whole thing.
“We were finally making plans, and when they confirmed they were available Saturday I tried to respond with a playful yet chill ‘tite,’” you explain. “I had already pressed send by the time I realized it had been corrected to ‘tight,’ a term I would never use.”
As soon as that gentle little ‘delivered’ appeared under your message, you knew it was over for you.
“Saying tight spelled t-i-t-e is sort of tongue-in-cheek and self-aware,” you say. “It’s like, showing that I know it would be kind of silly for the person who is me to use the word ‘tight’, but it’s also very laid back and imbues my texting tone with a little personality.”
“But now, they probably just think I’m a DJ,” you add.
It isn’t the first time that autocorrect has made small yet ruinous changes to your messages with past examples including the shift from ‘toootally’ to ‘totally,’ and ‘litrally’ to ‘literally’.
“It’s shocking how swiftly autocorrect can take me from being a person with agency and a clear voice to basically sounding like one of those chat robots that offers to help you find what you’re looking for on, like, the Levi’s website,” you say. “In both cases, it’s like thank you, but I think I know what I’m doing.”
It’s clear that autocorrect’s central mission is to police you and ensure you have no chance of ever coming off as a chill texter to crushes, new friends, or any others you wish to win over.
“Honestly, it’s an outrage,” you say of the feature’s monarchical practices. “My texts, my choice.”
When it’s suggested that you turn off the autocorrect function on your phone, you seem unsure.
“I don’t know about all that,” you say. “I mean, it does come in handy.”
