I’ve always prided myself on being an independent woman who’s never needed a man to help her figure out who she is. I’ve had boyfriends in the past, but I’ve always felt like I’ve been able to live my life on my own terms. However, this all changed when I got a copper intrauterine device inserted into my uterus. Now, my every move is under the direction of my Paragard.
Before I got my IUD, I would confidently make decisions for myself about whether I wanted to go out or stay in. If my boyfriends in the past would try to convince me to go out drinking with their buddies, I would have no problem saying no. I’m not the kind of girl who lets a guy decide things for her or feels pressure to impress them.
But ever since my Paragard came into my life, my flow has been extremely heavy and my cramps are unbearably painful. My Paragard is in charge now, determining how and when I can go places and see people – I don’t make decisions for myself anymore.
I learned my lesson not to disobey my IUD last weekend when I attended Lily’s bachelorette party even though I was on day two of my period. Before I left my apartment, my period bled through my underwear in a matter of minutes. I should have heeded my IUD’s warning, but I’m used to making decisions for myself. When a man tells me what to do, I tell him to get lost! But it’s different with my IUD. My IUD must be obeyed – or else.
When I got home, I took out my drenched tampon. I heard a deep voice from inside my vagina growl, “I warned you.” I quickly inserted a fresh tampon, but now I’m scared to take it out because I don’t want my Paragard to scold me again. I haven’t moved from the couch in hours. I just sit her clutching my stomach saying “I’m sorry.” I’ve decided to not go against my IUD’s wishes from now on.
The whole reason I got an IUD is because I don’t want men to think they have a say in what I do. My body is my body, and I chose to go with the Paragard because it’s no bullshit. I thought I was ready to commit to this new experience. But when I got it inserted, I didn’t realize I was making a ten-year commitment. That’s a long time to not have any autonomy. I almost went to my doctor to ask about taking it out, but my Paragard became angry and vengeful, and I had to cancel the appointment.
My words of wisdom are this: don’t let men influence how you live your life. That being said, I will spend the coming decade following my IUD’s every command. It’s just easier this way.
