My Boyfriend Is Actually A Pop-Up Ad I Can’t Close

I thought that my boyfriend and I were like any other couple. We enjoyed spending a lot of time together, watching Netflix and looking up recipes. He made me laugh. I didn’t really notice anything unusual about him until one Sunday night I wanted some alone time and he just wouldn’t leave, but he had been hiding a dark secret.


My boyfriend is a pop-up ad for a phone company that I can’t figure out how to close.


I’d never even met a pop-up ad before him. When I had asked what he did in the past, he always gave me vague answers about “sales” and “working in computers.” When my best friend met him, she knew right away that he was a pop-up ad, but just assumed that I knew. I didn’t know. She asked if I was using virus protection, but I had no idea what she was talking about.


Sometimes, the best things in life come when you aren’t looking, or don’t know how pop-up ads work.



Now he was starting to make sense, how he suddenly popping into my life one day and wouldn’t go away. How all of my family said he was really annoying. How he didn’t like to talk about his feelings, he mostly went on and on about cellphone rates and family plans. How he was a two-dimensional box displaying on my laptop against my will.


Sometimes I wish that I didn’t have to watch the 15-second video about how his network has the best coverage nationwide, but I’ve learned that relationships are about compromise and honesty. We’re planning a small outdoor wedding for next year with really good wifi for his side of the family. We’re also planning on adopting in the future, since he is a persistent digital image that makes me shrink my browser so I can write emails.


I can’t believe I’ve found true love with a pop-up ad that doesn’t have an ‘X’ button in the right corner. I feel like the luckiest girl alive. My boyfriend feels the same way. He’s always telling me, “Get unlimited 4G data for only $39 a month.” And that’s when I know I’ve found The One.