Ever feel like starting a fight, but don’t know if your guy will take the bait? Whether you’re blaming him for dirty dishes, accusing him of cheating, or just need a verbal punching bag, here are the hottest tunes to get him in the mood fighting.
Christina Aguilera – “Dirrty”
This song is used by the CIA to torture prisoners, so you can rest assured it’s been user tested to the max. But since it’s also a great soundtrack for a striptease, he’ll be extra disoriented by what your actual intentions are and disappointingly caught off guard when you start an argument.
Paula Cole – “I Don’t Want to Wait”
If the lyrics don’t provoke him immediately, his memories of obligatorily watching Dawson’s Creek with his middle school girlfriend definitely will. Tap into your inner Joey and take a swing at your Dawson like he just started dating that tramp, Jen.
Glee Cast – “We Will Rock You”
Queen wrote the original, but nothing will get him angrier than listening to Lea Michele desecrate this beloved fighting anthem. Boyfriends are notorious for hating Glee covers, and yours will be filled with the opposite of glee when you play this assault on his football team’s rallying cry. He’ll probably even start the fight before you do.
Britney Spears – “Hit Me Baby One More Time”
Like a naughty schoolgirl, your innocent facade will hide the moral decay inside you when you force him to hear this tone-deaf songstress. Expert tip: whip out the official video dance to give him extra motivation to want to strike you.
Des’ree – “You Gotta Be”
Sure, “Love will save the day” is part of the chorus, but don’t be fooled: he’ll think back to the time you invited your friends over for girls’ night and cried chardonnay tears for an hour while you threw chips at him from the living room. The memory of a sad sing-along that interrupted his GTA marathon will jolt him into a furious oblivion.
Entire Schindler’s List Soundtrack
The classical music from one of the most famous holocaust of all time will have him feeling inexplicably emotional and drained. And since it’s classical music, you can just pretend like you were putting it on to relax. He’ll be appropriately on edge when you bring up some naggy bullshit!
With these throwback tunes you’ll have your guy perfectly primed for a good old-fashioned fight.