Loser? This Woman Still Has IBS Even Though It’s Not Cool Anymore

In an embarrassing story out of Brooklyn, NY, 24-year-old Peyton Darvis reportedly still suffers from irritable bowel syndrome, even though it’s not even a cool trend for hot girls to talk about anymore. 


Yikes! That was so two years ago!


“When everyone was talking about how all hot girls have IBS, I felt like the entire stigma surrounding it went away and I could talk about it honestly. It was amazing,” Peyton told reporters. “But now in 2023, when I tell my friends that I blew up the club bathroom because I got stressed out when I was flirting with someone, they’ll look at me like I’m crazy?”


Uh-oh! Looks like Peyton is still living in two thousand and late!


Two years ago, when gut health issues were becoming a relatable and funny thing for women to talk about, Peyton received a lot of attention for it. 


“I made so many TikToks about my hot girl bowel movements back then, and every single one of them went viral,” she said. “But now when I try to make content about my stomach being totally unpredictable and having to shit in the absolute worst places, I’ll get less than 20 likes and one or two comments just saying “cringe”. What the hell happened?”


According to reports, Peyton has failed to realize that having IBS is just not cool anymore, and whenever she talks about it now it just makes people feel uncomfortable, either because they don’t want to hear about her poop or because it feels like she’s just beating a dead horse at this point.


“I don’t know if people were joking about having IBS before, but for me it was very real,” Peyton told reporters. “Like, this is my life. It’s not a silly trend for me. I just wish I could still be open and honest about it.”



Sorry, loser! Everyone’s moved on already!


At press time, Peyton has decided to stop talking publicly about her IBS until it starts trending online again.


“The only disorder I talk about now is my anxiety,” Peyton said. “I just leave out all the stuff about almost shitting my pants because of it.”