I’m Not A Basic Bitch. I’m A Boring Woman.

After throwing on some leggings and Ugg boots to grab a pumpkin spice latte yesterday, I overheard someone call me a “basic bitch.” Even though I was pretty busy texting my mother at the time, I had to set the record straight: I am not a basic bitch—I’m just a very boring woman.


Basic bitches are fine and all, but that’s just not the kind of boring person I am. My love for bland, mainstream, stereotypical white girl stuff didn’t come from popular culture or even network television. They actually come from my general ambivalence and complete lack of taste. I don’t like Taylor Swift because she’s trendy; I like Taylor Swift because I’m straight up boring.


I’m not the kind of person who puts a bunch of hashtags on a photo of my legs at the beach; I’m the kind of person who doesn’t post anything at all – because I’m at home and not at the beach. There’s a huge difference there.


Now, some people say the term “basic bitch” unfairly belittles women’s interests. And if I were a basic bitch, I might have an opinion about that, too. But it turns out I’m very dull. Do I have a “take” on the latest season of Real Housewives? Nah, not really. I just like to watch them on TV. Pretty boring, I know.



As a boring woman, there’s plenty of stuff that’s fulfilling about my life. I enjoy the occasional trip to Target. My favorite movie is The Notebook, though I’m kind of sick of it now. I enjoy my work as a PR manager. And most of my clothes are from H&M and Forever 21. And that’s really it. My life, in a word, is “fine.”


Does this sound like a basic bitch to you? I doubt it. I am literally too boring for that.


The next time you see a woman in a messy bun taking a selfie at brunch, don’t judge her too quickly. She might be a basic bitch, but she might be just like me: just a regular old, insufferably boring woman.