Recently, my boyfriend Lou and I decided to open up our relationship by allowing ourselves to sleep with and date other people, while staying committed to each other. A lot of people get freaked out when I tell them that Lou and I are no longer exclusive, but hear me out! Our relationship has been open for about four months, and I cannot recommend it enough. Seriously, you should try it, so you can feel the awesome benefits and also so I don’t feel as weird about this whole situation.
Listen to how great this is: as a couple in an open relationship, Lou and I continue to affirm our love for each other, while also actively looking for other people we might want to have sex with and then having sex with those people. How awesome is that?! Don’t you want to try sleeping with other people to experience pleasure in a way you never thought possible and also so that I can relax and be chill about what’s going on with me?
Opening up your relationship is so easy. Meet a guy in a bar? Bang him. Meet a guy at the gym? Bang him. Meet a guy at work? Don’t bang him because one of our rules is we can’t sleep with people we see on a regular basis.
And sure, this means I have to start looking for eligible single men again, which is something I thought I was finally done with. And I will admit that it definitely took me some time to get used to the idea of my live-in boyfriend of three years spending a couple nights a week with other women. But I am definitely on the road to being used to that idea. Like it makes me sick when I really think about it but if you do it too we could talk about it and affirm why these bad feelings are actually good for our relationship and I’d feel so much better. Just think about it, okay?
And that’s all part of the fun of open relationships! It’s an adventure that challenges you and forces you to grow in ways you maybe don’t need to. Doesn’t it all sound great? Think about how much fun it would be if you were also in an open relationship. Think about how much better I’d feel about the whole thing. We could go on this emotional journey together!
In case I haven’t communicated this to you already: I really love this setup. I’m crying right now because I love it so much! Even though it was mostly Lou’s idea and so far he’s the only one who’s really been taking advantage of it and boy has he, being in an open relationship gives me so much freedom. For example, I can act on my Robert Redford fantasy if I ever meet Robert Redford. Or sometimes, my doorman gives me a wink as I leave for work, and now, if I ever wanted to pursue that, I could and it would be totally cool. Actually, I guess that’s someone I see on a regular basis. But maybe you could sleep with your doorman, if that’s something you’re into! If that doesn’t entice you, I don’t know what will.
Just say yes to the possibilities and don’t look back. For me. Because I still really can’t wrap my head around this.
Have I convinced you yet? Please say yes.