Listen, I want you to know that I’m a wildcat in the bedroom. I know a lot of women say that, but I really mean it. I am an absolute freak in the sack and am down to clown with your big hard dick morning, noon, night, and everywhere in between. When I’m in the mood, I want it rough and dirty. No holds barred. But also, like, could you please leave your shoes by the door? I just had the floors cleaned.
When I was in college, my friends gave me the nickname “Sideways” because all I wanted was for guys to just fuck me sideways. And frontways. Really all the ways, so it was kind of a dumb nickname. Come to think of it, maybe my nickname should have just been, “Sure!” I’d fuck in the dorm, in the back seat of a car, even in the streets. But never barefoot outside or with shoes inside because that tracks in a lot of dirt, and you never really know what’s on the ground out there!
But other than that, if there is a way to be fucked, I want in on it. Right now. I don’t even care who sees because I’m nasty like that. I just need you to take off those shoes first before you get in here because there is a really nasty salt/dirt mix all over the sidewalk out there and I mean YUCK, right??
Don’t believe how much of a sex-crazed beast I am? Well, don’t take my word for it. Ask any of my past sexual partners, and they’ll tell you: when I’m horny, all I want is for you to just go to town on my body, no questions asked. The only question I’ll be asking is could you actually take your shoes off outside the door? Like, fully not in my apartment because that doormat only does so much. Seriously, those shoes are really distracting right now and also this is a brand-new carpet.
Once you do that, you’d better clear your schedule because my body is ready to be railed like a champ for hours on end. Unless you used public transportation and/or a public restroom at any point today, in which case I might ask you to hop in the shower real quick. Thanks!