I Love My Girlfriend Even Though I Can’t Find Her

When I was growing up, a lot of people would tell me to date someone who was “there.” However, deep in my heart I disagreed. Even as a teenager I was incredibly attracted to women on the less present side, women who were not only not there but also perhaps hiding, women the average person might describe as, “Where did they go?” I’m a grown woman myself now, and I’m proud to announce that I love my girlfriend even though I simply cannot find her.


For me, there’s nothing sexier than not holding a woman’s hand because I don’t know where she went. One minute she was standing next to me being my girlfriend, and the next she wasn’t, and that’s what I love about her (not here, playing hide-and-go-seek, gone.) This beautiful hot woman I’m dating fills out every inch of her jeans and still isn’t anywhere near me. Has anyone seen her?


I’m sure she’s fine because this happens a lot. At first when she disappeared I got scared and thought, “Maybe she’s in trouble. Maybe she got kidnapped. Maybe she’s curvy.” But then I educated myself on how sometimes people can be there and then they’re not because they went away, and how that doesn’t mean they disappeared forever. You can learn about that too, using an educational game called “peek-a-boo.”


There’s all kinds of reasons women walk away and then you can’t find them, and all of them are sexy to me: going into another room, taking a walk, making a soft-boiled egg, going away from me to cry, etc.


I can’t find my girlfriend anywhere but I can find my heart. It’s right here, and she’s inside of it. Not literally because I don’t know where she is, but maybe, because who can say for sure? If she’s not in front of me, she could very well be inside my heart.


I love her so much but where is she?



Ladies, rethink what society has told you to desire about dating women you can’t find right now. Some people might see a picture of you alone that you tagged her in and say, “Who’s that?” but remember: you don’t need to answer. People will always be curious about who you’re dating if you tag them in pictures and they’re not in the picture, and those people are called “haterz.”


A real woman is not a porn star or a swimsuit model or “exists.” She’s nowhere to be found. Maybe she has stretch marks, but maybe she doesn’t have a body. Maybe she has a booty, but also maybe you never met her. There’s no standard for what a girlfriend should look like, and if yours has the confidence to not be there, and you have the confidence to love her anyway, then that’s all that matters. I haven’t found mine yet, and that doesn’t mean anything.