Clothes are everything, and anyone who says differently is trying to get you to let your guard down so they can steal your clothes. I take great pride in my collection of unique, witty graphic tees, but yesterday something terrible happened, something I would not wish on my worst enemy. I wore a new shirt and no one said “good shirt.”
What am I supposed to do now? Return it?
I spend hours painstakingly selecting my shirts from local conglomerates that have online stores. I scour the internet for pants that will make my friends say “good pants” or shirts that will make them say “good shirt.” Last week, I thought I’d found the perfect new addition to my collection: a puke yellow tee with polka dots and a tiny image of Paul McCartney in one corner saying, “That’s France, baby!” It’s the perfect shirt for when you want a passerby to spend a second looking at it, several more seconds wondering if it’s ugly and senseless, then ultimately decide it’s intentional and cool.
I arrived at brunch, ready to field compliments for my sick new digs, but absolutely no one said “Good shirt!” or even a quick, “Shirt!” My one friend would not stop talking about how her mom briefly went into cardiac arrest this week, and my other friend went on and on about her own near-death experience. All the while, there I was; sitting in my new shirt, looking really good, and they didn’t even acknowledge it.
Do they hate it? More importantly, do they hate me?
I am a simple person. I want for very little. All I need in this life is a roof over my head, food in my belly, and for my friends to validate my fashion choices with subtle yet impactful compliments so I know I’m moving in a cool, if not new, direction. But it’s moments like these that make me question whether it’s all worth it. Without a quick, “Good shirt!” or even a cursory nod as if to say “Good shirt!” who am I? Which god do I serve if not the runway?
I decided it was all too much and am now resigned to never wear this shirt again. When the universe speaks, I listen. Instead, I will be reselling it on Depop for three times the price.
