I used to think that the worst thing that could happen to me during a conversation would be saying the wrong thing, or offending someone, or slipping on a banana peel, but nothing prepared me for the worst: Forgetting what I was just gonna say.
Now I have no idea what to do, or who I even am anymore.
Just five minutes ago I was in a conversation with my two friends Lily and Efe, when I felt an overwhelming urge to chime in. They were talking about vegan places they liked in the area, so I waited until it felt right to tell them something that I knew would truly blow their minds. But when there was finally a lull in the convo, I was like, “Oh my, God, also–”.
And that was it. Everything I had planned to say had vanished, and I was left with nothing but the pain of losing something so important to me, which was what I was gonna say.
My friends were all like, “What? What is it?” But I was stunned into silence. It was then that I had to break the devastatingly sad news to them:
“I forgot what I was gonna say,” I told them, but they surprisingly seemed to move on without missing a beat. However, I just couldn’t get over it that easily.
Lily and Efe kept talking about the best restaurants they knew in the neighborhood, but I was stuck thinking about how something so terrible could even happen to me. Did they not realize the gravity of the situation?
I wouldn’t wish this on anyone– not even my worst enemy. Especially not my worst enemy because an event as traumatic as this could turn them into a full-blown psychopath.
I’m afraid to even speak in this conversation again, because what if I forget a second time? Or a third? What if I never remember what I’m going to say ever again? I really don’t know if I can take that risk.
Next time I have something to say, I’m going to write it down. I just can’t handle the possibility of forgetting what I was gonna say again.
Oh my god! I just remembered what I was gonna say! But it’s not even relevant anymore… fuck.
