So, a bee just flew into your room and you don’t have the patience to tolerate its foolishness. You need to shut that bee down at once! Here’s how to deliver a clapback with class to keep the bee in much-needed check, because a simple buggie has no right to come for you in your own room.
Evaluate the bee’s situation.
Believe it or not, there are levels to the bee trolling you in your room. Potential offenses may vary from the bee flying around because it’s lost and can’t get back out the window, to the bee actively trying to attack you. Figure out its motivations first. You may not want to go too hard on a bee who’s having a bad day. Give that bee side-eye instead.
Search for information that counters the bee’s current bullshit.
Use the internet to help you take down a bee who came for you when you didn’t send for it. Read Wikipedia articles to gain knowledge about the sort of bee you’re scrapping with, then read it right back into its hive! Search for information that specifically counters the bee’s current bullshit. This might be difficult to do while the bee flies wildly around your room, but the benefit for your clapback will be worth it. For example: Oh, you’re chasing me out of my room, but you hate it when beekeepers smoke you out of your hive? How does that feel? *mic drop*
Decide where to Clap Back.
Clapping back at a bee on Twitter means you need to be succinct, whereas clapping back on Facebook requires a 1,500 word essay with a full bibliography. Whatever you choose, take a picture of the bee so you can come back at it with hard facts. Just remember: Bees are not on social media, so you may have to read the bee your clapback out loud while it attacks you. Rest assured, the perfect shutdown will banish it all the way back to the Garden of Eden!
Know your ideal result.
Sit with your clapback for a few minutes before reading it to the bee. Make sure it will get you the results you want: Do you just want to throw shade at the bee, do you want to drag the bee, or do you want the bee to apologize? Only you can decide how you want to handle the bee’s insolence.
Clap the bee between your hands.
Chase the bee around until you’ve literally clapped it between your hands. This is the ultimate clapback! You can now release it safely outside, where it’s free to be petty in nature.
Congratulations! You may now rest your case. An idiot bee thought it could act a threat toward you, but you dragged it to court and served it justice with a flawless clapback.