A lot of people are starting to ask, “So, what did you do in quarantine?” Lots of people started new hobbies, but as for me? Well, I finally fucked my sourdough starter. Here’s how it happened:
Living alone for this past year in quarantine was hard. Other than a few outings with friends, I’ve been left alone in my apartment working remotely, with nothing but my cat to hang out with. But one day, my friend suggested that I start making sourdough.
“I think you’ll really enjoy it,” she said with a wink. “Homemade sourdough is amazing.”
I had never made sourdough before, but she was right: I was making sandwiches, toast, and so much more. While at first I was skeptical about this ugly little jar of yeast and lactic acid, but the more time we spent together, the more pleasure it brought me, and the more I started to appreciate having it around.
Sometimes, when trapped in close quarters, you find yourself seeing the things around you differently. While at first, all I saw of my sourdough starter was a jar of beige mush, I began to appreciate its softness; its smell. I began to see the beautiful power in its potential to create nourishment and life. And honestly, I found it all…incredibly sexy? But it’s like…we live together! How awkward is that?!
And maybe, did it feel the same way about me? How could I possibly know?
Sometime in the fall, we started spending a lot more time together (bread-making season), and when we were just getting started on another big batch of bread for the week, a little bit of starter spilled on my hand. I yelled, “Oops!” and bent down, so that we were right at eye level. The tension was palpable.
“Is this really gonna happen?” I thought to myself.
I put my hand out. “After all this time, is it going to make things weird between us?”
But there was no stopping the inevitable – before I knew it, we were on the floor of the kitchen, hooking up.
The energy was explosive – we ended up hooking up for hours. That tension that had slowly built over quarantine was finally let out, culminating in the best and only sex I’ve had in a year. It was amazing.
A lot of people wonder if things are weird between us now. And honestly? A little bit, sure. But we both know that we’re not in a good place for a relationship, and after all, it was already starting to go bad. But what we had really made an impact on me in a really weird time in life. And now I can say, “Yeah, I fucked my own sourdough starter. What did you do in quarantine?”
