When Bree Wardrick was asked by her daughter why she doesn’t consider going to therapy, she immediately rejected the suggestion. After all, Bree gets all her therapeutic needs met by screaming at any and all sales associates she comes in contact with.
“Why would I pay a therapist to ask me questions and listen to me every week when I could have a captive audience just by going to the nearest clothing store?” Bree said. “I didn’t get rich by spending my money on therapy, I did it by yelling at whoever’s helping me, trying on a bunch of clothes, scattering them all around the dressing room, and then leaving without buying anything.”
According to witnesses, Bree has instilled fear, helplessness, and shame into countless sales associates throughout the Greater New York area.
“We didn’t have her size in a shoe that she wanted,” Alyssa Greene, a former retail worker at Madewell, told reporters. “So she cussed me out in front of the whole store. It left a scar on my psyche that will probably never fade as long as I live, but I hope she worked through whatever feelings she was harboring at the time so no other sales associate will have to go through that again.”
Despite Alyssa’s wishes, she was unfortunately far from being the last one to suffer at the hands of Bree’s retail-related rage.
“I wasn’t even helping her with anything,” Lonnie Velasco, a sales associate at Gap, said. “She just walked right up to me and started roleplaying with me as if I was her mother. I’ll always remember her saying that I ‘ruined her life’ by not letting her go to the prom with Jimmy Hayweather. Whatever that means.”
There have also been several witnesses who identified her treating a local Anthropologie as if it were her own personal rage room.
“She came in with a baseball bat and destroyed everything in sight,” Yaz Fellows, the current sales manager at the store, told reporters. “It was pretty scary, but I was honestly happy that she didn’t scream at anyone that time.”
As of press time, Bree had finally taken up a new form of therapy: screaming at service workers.
