Like many little girls, I’d always envisioned myself having a fairy tale wedding. I’d don a white dress, have my dad give me away, and live happily ever after. But most importantly, I’d get the ultimate trophy of marriage—assuming my husband’s namesake and leaving my former identity behind. Now that I’m older, I realize that many of the traditions of marriage are archaic and patriarchal. When I married my husband Dave, I rejected the practice of taking his last name because I am a feminist and also because his last name is Butt.
David understood long before we were engaged that I would never change my name, since I’d worked hard to build my career under my maiden name, but also because his last name is Butt. My individuality is really important to me, and I’m not tethered to my husband. I’m equal to him, which is why I won’t change my name! I won’t succumb to a marriage of ownership over unity – and again, his last name is Butt.
And no, it’s not some kind of mistranslation. His last name is Butt, which is short for “buttocks.”
Would it have been different had I married another man? I can only unsurely guess, probably! All I know is that with David Butt, I am able to confidently stay the woman I am, one who was not born with the last name Butt.
And for those who worry that David would feel emasculated by my decision, just know that he supports me. In fact, he supports me so much, he has even considered changing his own last name to mine. Talk about a modern marriage! I get sad thinking about all of David’s Butt brothers and the Butt sisters-in-law who’ve taken Butt because they never knew they didn’t have to. Because of feminism!!!
Yes, David and I are often asked about children, but we are too focused on work and traveling to consider making little Butt buttons of our own. That’s part of being a feminist—realizing that I don’t have to put away my career to have children, and also not bringing a human being into this world with the name Butt. You know what they say… feminism changes lives! So does having a last name like Butt.
