‘I Can’t Wait Until I’m Old And Can Just Say Whatever I Want,’ Says Woman Who Already Does That

In a puzzling story out of New York City, 25-year-old Lila Howard is excited for the day she is old enough to finally speak her mind freely and without any inhibitions, even though technically, she already does that all the time.


“As a woman in her 20s, I feel like I’m going to be judged for just about anything I say,” Lila told us. “That’s why I can’t wait until I’m old as hell, so I can say whatever I want and no one will try to stop me!”


According to sources, this is interesting because she loudly said that a stranger’s dress was super ugly on the train last week..


“I know this is weird to say,” she added. “But I’m so excited to be a grandma and say whatever I want without worrying about what people think of me. No one tells an older woman what to say!”


However, no one really tells Lila what to say while she’s at the young age of 25 either, because they’re afraid of the horrible and specific things she’ll say back to them.


“Lila already says whatever she wants and doesn’t care,” Lila’s friend Yasha told us. “One time I told her my plan for my birthday party and she said that it sounded ‘stupid and immature,’ but that she only had the best intentions when she said it.”


“If she’s suggesting that she’s somehow holding back right now, then I’m genuinely worried for her future children and grandchildren.”


Witnesses have also reported that Lila tells her “hot takes” to anyone who will listen, no matter how controversial or factually incorrect they are.


“Last week she told me that the only reason why she didn’t vote for Trump was because she thought he was annoying,” one of Lila’s acquaintances, Henry, told us. “I can’t even begin to unpack that one.”


When speaking to Lila’s friends, it seems like a majority of them are afraid for what’s to come in the future.




“If she’s holding back right now,” Yasha told us, “then I’m honestly afraid of what she’s gonna be like when she’s 90. Hopefully I’m dead by then.”