How to Tell Your Mom You Use Weed for Cramps and Also for Watching ‘Cutthroat Kitchen’ at 3 a.m.

If your mom’s attitude toward you smoking “pot” hasn’t much changed since your adolescence, you’re not alone. Not everyone has laidback stoner parents who start smoking joints with them on Thanksgiving once they turn 18, but you’re an adult, and if you want to be honest with your mom about this part of your life, you should be able to. Here’s how to tell her that you use weed for cramps and also for watching Cutthroat Kitchen at 3 a.m. because really, what else is it for?


Explain that weed is a form of medicine.

Help couch your usage in terms she’ll understand by explaining that marijuana is used for its medicinal properties in a large range of situations. Your mom will feel more comfortable once you clearly and confidently break it down for her, so tell her that the CBD in cannabis is anti-inflammatory which can help with menstrual pain, and the THC in cannabis is high-making, which can help with watching old episodes Cutthroat Kitchen with Alton Brown who’s, like, maybe a Republican but that’s another thing weed helps you not think about.


Make it personal.

Now that your mom has some context, don’t hesitate to make it personal. She loves you and would never want you to suffer, so help her not just accept but appreciate your need for weed by stressing how instrumental it’s been for pain management with your period, and also for pain management of your mind since it allows you to see, hear, and think of nothing but the drama of four sabotaging chefs dueling it out in the Cutthroat Kitchen at 3 a.m., which is even healthier and more mentally restorative than sleep.



Invite her into your world.

The best way to help your mom relax about weed is by getting her to smoke it. Next time you’re together, encourage her to hit your pen in order to help with her knee pain or whatever, then pop on an episode of the Food Network classic that dared to ask, “How can we make people on a competitive reality TV show behave even worse?” Pretty soon she’ll see that weed doesn’t just enhance Cutthroat Kitchen, it also strengthens relationships (when paired with watching Cutthroat Kitchen).


So try these methods to help your mom reframe how she views weed because you just wouldn’t be able to get through your period or three back-to-back episodes of Cutthroat without it. You should probably try meditating or something, but whatever.