It can be super hot to explore your boyfriend’s deepest fantasies by watching porn with him. But what happens when your boyfriend is into garbage cheerleader porn? You could take it as an opportunity to practice communicating your own feelings and desires in a calm, non-judgmental way, but that’s a lot of work so do these things instead:
1. Focus on everything besides the cheerleader.
Instead of focusing on the cheerleaders themselves, try finding something less troubling in the video you’re watching together on his laptop. You can admire the artistic direction of the high school locker room—it does look just like a real locker room! Focus on the somewhat-consistent uniforms for the two cheerleaders and the 12 football players and ugh, is this a gangbang?! Nooooo. Now focus on the 35-year-old “quarterback” who’s politely jerking off in the corner. What’s his deal? Try counting his weird scars and maybe you’ll fall asleep before it’s over.
2. Pretend that you have no opinions.
If you want to play the role of supportive girlfriend, it’s important to get your pretending skills on fleek! Finding out that your boyfriend gets a boner from a chick in pigtails who looks 16 can be hard to swallow (LOL, get it?). So when your boyfriend starts masturbating to someone’s daughter but ONLY when they are doing a pom pom routine, try to forget your gender studies minor and self-respect for a little while. You’ll finally be the cool girlfriend you always wanted to be! If your ruse slips and you accidentally let your jaw drop (that 19-year-old isn’t old enough to know that she might regret this!!!), just pretend it’s because you’re too turned on to keep it closed!
3. Nudge him in a better direction.
Just because your boyfriend’s penis loves seeing a girl get railed by someone who looks like that creepy janitor from high school doesn’t mean that it can’t be retrained! Odds are that your boyfriend probably gets an erection if a gentle breeze crosses his crotch while looking at a pregnant cat. So maybe start with suggesting that he watch some other kind of porn, like, where two or more consenting adults have sex with each other.
4. Pretend to fall asleep.
Look, no one likes to admit defeat. But the truth is that if you aren’t into his vaguely ephebophilic tendencies, then you’re gonna wanna wave your sexual white flag and play dead, especially if the two cheerleaders are getting banged against the locker closest to the toilets. That was your locker in sophomore year—the year you were mercilessly bullied by cheerleaders. If these memories are drying you up, think about how unsexy it will be for your beau to explore your emotional trauma. Just close your eyes and think of a happier time in your life that didn’t involve cheerleaders.
When all is said and done, at least you can sleep better once his laptop battery dies on his lap while he’s passed out, and the cheerleader porn on loop will finally stop. Good luck!
