Committed partnerships can be beautiful and come with meaningful intimacy, consistent support, and the feeling of being truly known. However, when you take things to that next level with a new boo, you also run the risk of being forced to watch HBO’s The Sopranos from start to finish, and it’s just not worth that kind of commitment. So here’s how to keep things casual so you’ll never have to watch an allegedly incredible mafia family drama with some man.
Only text to make plans.
You can send and receive strictly practical scheduling texts, but don’t ever let things turn conversational. If he so much as asks how your day was, don’t respond for 7 hours, lest you get in a chatty flow. It may seem innocent, but he’s just trying to butter you up so he can talk you into a corner then suddenly ask if you’ve seen The Sopranos like it wasn’t his plan all along. Do not engage!! If you ever decide to watch the father of prestige television, it will be on your time and in 10 or 15 years. Sorry, “Mark”!
Keep interactions surface level.
When you are together, limit conversation to meaningless and vague small talk. If you begin to share childhood memories, personal passions, fears, and dreams, it’s possible you will establish a bond, and he will want to solidify that bond by watching you watch The Sopranos, which, by the way, he’s already seen three times.
See him late at night.
Keep your rendezvouses late so that there’s only time for efficient sex and sleep immediately after. If you have him around for a leisurely evening, it’s only natural that his mind will wander to fucked up fantasies of nights spent in, curling up on the couch, and watching all 86 episodes of a show that’s famous for being better than other television in an era when television was bad. Oh, but it has a compelling antihero? Yeah, so does every single show that’s come out since, Jackson.
So try out these tips for keeping things light and noncommittal, and whatever you do, never mention that you won’t watch The Sopranos directly, or you’ll have to have a huge argument that’s almost as exhausting as the idea of starting The Sopranos. It’s not that you don’t think it’s good, it’s that you already know it’s good so basically you’re all set, thanks!