How to Get Your Boyfriend to Brush You Like the Trophy Hog You Are

It can be really hard to gauge the status of your relationship: From being exclusive to finally cohabitating, there are plenty of landmark moments in every relationship that move things in a more serious direction. But, when we talk about finding “the one,” there’s a very specific moment that can steer things towards happily ever after: finally letting your boyfriend brush you like you’re the top hog at the county fair.


Don’t forget to show gratitude.

We’ve heard it all before: Boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, girl gets boy to brush her 4-5 times a week to maintain the quality of her hide and hairs. But, before you start fawning over how romantic a good brushing sounds, remember the practical purpose your brushing serves. By brushing and oiling you like the premier piggy you are, your partner is allowing your skin to look flawless. For that reason, it helps to express gratitude towards your partner. Remember, a little oink of appreciation can go a long way.



Be a good lil’ hog.

Outside of being flat-out grateful that someone is finally taking the time to brush you, there are several bits of information your boyfriend should be familiar with before finally wielding that hog brush. For instance, what kind of pig are you? Light pigs often need a heavier brush, this will remove more dirt particles and make them a brighter white. Trust us, nothing gets a man going like a freshly brushed, porcelain piggy.


Get ready for the big fair.

If your boyfriend is planning on showing you at the fair, or just aiming to take you out for a night on the town, he should be ready to shampoo and condition your coat before brushing you. Any grassy yard or lot is ideal for spraying you down. Issue a squeal or two if you need to remind your partner to spray water in the direction your hair naturally lays – after all, getting your hair to train correctly is important. Whether at the state or county level, judges won’t settle for anything less. You’re worth it!


So, if you’re finally ready to take the next big step in your relationship, take a break from cavorting around in your sty, and get your man to finally brush you like he’s about to present you to a panel of judges. Remember, at the end of the day, you’re one of the choicest hogs in the county. Life is all about finding a man who is ready to treat you like one!