How to Get Your Boss to Read Your Mind Over Zoom Instead of Self-Advocating

If you’ve struggled in the past with making your voice heard at the office, then there’s a good chance the move to Zoom has come with its own set of unique challenges. It’s important that your workplace contributions be recognized, but talking to your boss can be scary! If you have no interest in self-advocating, here’s how to get your boss to read your mind in that Zoom meeting instead of asking for what you want directly.


The look-down

Your over-confident coworker Simon just pitched a terrible idea, and your boss is reluctantly going with it in the absence of any other plan. You have a different angle on it that you’re sure would work better, but speaking up seems a little dramatic, right? I mean, who would do that?? Instead, wait for your boss to ask if anyone has any other ideas, then look down woefully. Your boss sees your gentle sulk, they’re guaranteed to assume you’re sitting on an approach that would blow Simon’s out of the water, then go ahead and ask you to helm the whole project. Problem solved!


The ‘accidental’ hand raise

Demand the attention you deserve by using the “hand raise” Zoom function — a feature actually designed to indicate your desire to speak — then pretending you did it by accident. Once you’ve successfully put yourself on your boss’s radar, they’ll be desperate to know your thoughts, comments, and concerns. That’s just how bosses work! And in the absence of you articulating any, they’ll probably just do a mental rundown of all the things you could possibly be thinking about, and then take those all into careful consideration going forward.



Straight-up Telepathy

If these tricks to facilitate mind-reading aren’t getting the job done, try your hand at telepathy. We’re not totally sure it’s possible, but maybe if you practice meditation and train your brain, we’re sure those thoughts will get to your boss eventually. Then you’ll never have to speak at work again! Actually, you can probably quit your job and just cash in on the telepathy, perhaps as a religious charlatan of sorts. Better than going through the whole “oops, I’m muted” dance on Zoom! Day jobs, amiright?!


So next time you’re feeling hesitant to speak up, don’t, and try these simple meeting hacks instead. Your boss will be reading your mind in no time, and you’ll never have to learn to advocate for yourself. Here’s to innovative solutions!