How To Find Love But Then Promptly Fuck It Up

Finding love and holding on to it is a beautiful and challenging process. But just because it’s challenging doesn’t mean you need to spend your life worrying about it! The important thing to remember is that there’s actually no way to fix this and you are definitely going to fuck it up at some point. Oh well! Here’s how to find love but them promptly ruin it, cause that’s just how you do!


Put Your Phone Down

Technology keeps you closed off, so do your best to disengage from it. Put your phone away and see what happens! Maybe you’ll make eye contact with a hot stranger and go on an impromptu coffee date. Of course, you’ll probably spend the whole coffee date talking about your ex who you loved but couldn’t be with because of timing! Wow, that potential long-lasting relationship was over pretty damn quick!


Prioritize Partnership

Attraction can be fun and hot, but don’t choose it over the possibility of a stable partnership. Go for the guy you get along with, not the guy with the biceps who can’t hold a conversation with you. But maybe keep the hottie’s number on hand, because eventually you’ll freak out that nothing has gone wrong yet with your sweet man, inevitably causing everything to go wrong. Then you can call that hottie and fuck shit up for good! You did it!


Engage in Social Activities

You can’t stay in the house all day and expect to find love, so get out there and do something fun and unexpected! Try out trivia at your local bar; you may just find a guy who shares your love of 80s sitcoms. Don’t worry if you’re nervous talking to him, you’ll definitely fuck it all up on the third date when you get too drunk and start crying about his rampant sexual history you made up in your head! Ruined? Right on schedule!



Stay Optimistic

Even though finding love can be difficult, don’t worry. The right person will come along eventually, and you’ll fuck that up too! You are totally dependable, at least when it comes to destroying a good thing.


Keep these guidelines in mind when you’re looking for a person to share your life with, then before you’re able to do that immediately find a reason to end things or drive him away. And if you’re happily dating someone you love, sorry, that’s impossible! Relationships exist to be destroyed!!