So, you’re on a date with a handsome, charming man. Good for you! Just try not to focus on how he’s so charming that –– if he wanted to –– he could actually create and lead a cult. Here’s how:
Relax and embrace the moment.
This is a date, it’s supposed to be fun! The man you’re with is kind, charming, charismatic, and a little eccentric –– just your type! Put all thoughts of how he’s a little too charismatic aside and just enjoy the evening!
Keep the conversation light.
Topics like the weather and your pets are perfect for setting a casual, low-stakes mood. Stay away from things like money, religion, and any potential plans he has to establish himself as a god-like figure among a group of fervent, dedicated followers. Nothing ruins the mood like asking if someone has recently bought any land in Utah and is looking to start a commune.
Listen, but keep your distance.
If he does, unprompted, start talking about all his beautiful, fertile Utah land, just smile and nod, but keep yourself detached emotionally. Sure, it does sound pretty good to live off the land with a group of strangers-turned-family, forgoing the strife of modern life for the simplicity of country living, but you shouldn’t commit yourself to anything.
Try and fail to steel yourself against his wiles.
Sure, you were wary of this man at the start of this date. He was too charming for his own good, and could use that charm to evil ends if he felt like it. But you needn’t have worried –– this guy is great! He just wants to create a better life for himself and those dedicated followers that you now consider yourself one of.
Become agitated and say you have to leave.
What the fuck are you thinking? This man has already duped you into joining his cult and you need to leave, now! Go, get out of there –– what’s that? He suggested dessert and said something funny yet tender? Okay, well, dessert couldn’t hurt. Just eat and get out of there after!
Allow yourself to be soothed by his steadfast demeanor and leave the date feeling confident that you’d follow this man into battle and excited to start your new life in Utah.
Fuck it, you’re cutting off your friends and family and following this guy to Utah. It’ll be fine!
And that’s it –– if you follow these simple guidelines, you’ll be living your dream life in the country in no time! Forget your worries about him being charming enough to lead a cult –– he’s just a really sweet guy with a singular vision. Why else would 40 other people be on this bus to Utah?
