Putting yourself out there romantically can be nerve-wracking. What if they don’t like your hair, your outfit, the way you channel ancient vernacular English when you get anxious? It’s true—there are thousands of ways that dating can go wrong but there are also tons (a handful) of ways it can go right. Here are some tips for how to date even though you’re nervous you can’t stop saying “methinks” over and over again.
Take Him to a Movie
The best way to avoid saying “methinks” is to avoid saying anything at all. Horror movies are always a great choice (perfect for cuddling), but if you get scared, choose a normal exclamation like “Ah!”, not something like makes you sound like a British boy like “Go-lly!” or “Methinks there’s a killer yon’!” There’s no way that was your natural first thought. When the movie is over and he asks how you liked it, do not—DO NOT—say “it was good, methinks!” with a snivel, reminiscent of an evil troll or greedy goblin. That is weird.
Try a Paint-and-Sip
Nothing like a tactile distraction to demand your attention and stop you from embarrassing yourself with a “methinks” or even a “meknows”! But make sure not to get too drunk, because we all know the frequency of your “methinks”-ing skyrockets when alcohol is involved. On second thought, it might be a good idea to mime drinking, methinks! Um, we mean…. studies show.
Maybe Laser Tag?
If you can’t take him to a movie or try a paint-and-sip, there’s only one activity that will allow you to avoid verbal contact, and that’s the simulated war game, laser tag. Just keep in mind: Extended physical activity may activate your fight or flight response and turn you into a feral version of yourself (think Bandersnatch or Jabberwock) but fear not! Anything beats rubbing your hands together, hunching your back, and proposing, “Methinks you would enjoy a bookstore.”
Let Your Body Do the Talking
If you can’t avoid uninterrupted time together, just shut up and let your body language speak volumes. Try things like touching his arm, playing with his hair, feeling the course fabric of his battle-worn garments—NO. Be chill. Don’t say it.
Follow these simple steps and you’ll be on your way to a “methinks”-less date in no time! And if you do accidentally say it, don’t panic and absolutely do not double down and explain that it’s technically in the Oxford dictionary defined as “it seems to me.” The only thing less sexy than someone who uncontrollably says “methinks” is a know-it-all.