Woman Finishes Shampoo and Conditioner at the Same Time

In a bizarre episode of coincidence that has scientists baffled, a woman in Topeka, Kansas ran out of shampoo and conditioner at the same exact time. Officials are currently investigating how this one-in-four-million event could have occurred naturally.

 

“I thought maybe the shampoo bottle was smaller, or maybe my dog had gotten into it,” says Kathy O’Reilly, the 38-year-old chemical engineer who discovered the anomaly. “But they were both 32-ounce bottles, and Milo would have thrown it up or something. It was freaky.”

 

O’Reilly described the evening of the discovery as, “nothing special. I didn’t shave or anything. I just wanted to clean my hair and body and call it a night.”

 

She squeezed the shampoo into her hand, which took a lot of shaking and farting noises, which is how she knew that the shampoo was kicked. Thinking that meant she was out of conditioner, O’Reilly grabbed the bottle to throw it out. “That’s when I realized: There was exactly one serving of conditioner left in the bottle.” She shakes her head. “I still can’t believe it. How is this my life?”

 

 

When some shake-farting produced a precisely quarter-sized amount of Tresemme Keratin Smooth conditioner, O’Reilly called her husband in to verify that both bottles were empty. “She’s all wet and yelling, telling me I used her shampoo to masturbate, this n’ that,” says Scott O’Reilly, a 31-year-old retail employee. “I don’t touch that girl stuff.”

 

Since the bottles have not been observed in person by official adjudicators, the spontaneous phenomenon is not yet eligible for inclusion in the Guinness World Records. “We’re following the story closely and are very interested in speaking with Miss O’Reilly,” says Guinness spokesperson Anita Furman.

 

O’Reilly has also been approached by several brands, including Tresemme, for lucrative endorsement deals.

 

However, O’Reilly has not been able to return any calls just yet. “I’m just reeling,” she says, still perched on the side of her tub. “I don’t know how this is possible.”