How to Get Into His Interests So Deeply You Threaten His Sense of Self

We all know the classic dating adage: If you want to catch a guy’s attention, show him you can get down with his interests! But if you really want to make him fall head-over-heels, you’ve got to get so deeply entrenched in his passions that you pose an existential threat to his uniqueness as a human being. Here’s how:


Excel at his hobbies – in fact, completely demolish him.

Is your man into competitive activities, like sports or video games? Show him you can hold your own at these things too, but don’t just stop there. Deliver a defeat so total and humiliating that he shudders at the thought of picking it up again. If he says, “Uh wow, you’re really good at this, haha… You sure you’ve never done this before?,” assure him no, this is literally your first time. Then go apeshit, wreck the foundation for his self-identity, and make him wonder if there’s anything about him that makes him special. Bonus points if he leaves to go call his dad!


Like what he likes. Just like it even better.

If he sends you a Spotify link and says, “Hey, check out the latest from my favorite artist,” don’t reply with any variation of “Wow, I love this, you’re totally expanding my tastes right now.” If you really want to make his heart strings flutter, hit him with the “Oh yeah, this was in my Discover Weekly playlist last week! It’s a 3 out of 5 for me. The lyricism was a lil derivative, and there was wayyy too much reverb in the bridge. Def not my fave from their discog’.” Then, send him a more tasteful, unreleased track by the same artist, and text, “I thought this would be more up your alley, tbh.” Nothing says I get you, I see you for who you are, I can fulfill youlike one-upping him at being him!



Get a doctorate’s degree in his area of interest.

Is there a topic your guy can’t stop talking about? Do his beautiful eyes just light up every time he raves about his favorite subject? If you want his heart, take the next 6-7 years to ingest the canon of everything scholars have ever written about this topic. Hook, line, and sinker! This way, the next time your cutie gets excited about jiu jitsu or something, you can pull up your thesis, and drop your own theory and research on the only passion that makes him feel truly alive.


Remember, every healthy relationship involves shared interests. But if you really want to be the apple of his eye, you’ll want to take over his whole identity. Happy dating!