Wow! This Man Stays Friends with All His Exes In Attempt to Fill the Gaping Void Where His Sense of Self Should Be

Ready to be inspired? 41-year-old Michael Robbins of Brooklyn, NY finds a way to end every romantic relationship without blame or conflict—a feat that few of us could manage to achieve. Robbins claims he will never close the door to a woman’s affection, even if she’s dating someone new and it’s kind of getting weird now.


23-year-old Tara Russo dated Michael on-and-off for a year and was amazed and inspired by his inability to cultivate a sense of self.


“We’d have these incredible dates, then he’d just disappear with zero explanation,” Tara says. “Then after a while he’d start liking my Instagram selfies and be just as charming like we never had a fight, so I’d guess we’re friends now?”


Way to leave that door open, Michael!



Friends say that Michael is “confused” about how he’s still single at his age, though they suspect he avoids committing to one woman because he fears not getting attention from all the women he’s ever met.


According to reports, 26-year-old Brittney Dobbs is also “friends” with Michael, despite them having broken up a few years ago.


“We haven’t dated in years, but he still finds his way in and out of my life for some weird reason,” Brittney says. “Like, it’s truly amazing just how good he is at this shit.”


Michael sees no issue with forming bonds of friendship after years of having sex with each other.


“I guess I’m just a passionate guy,” Michael says. “That is, I’m passionate about simultaneously pursuing dozens of women and never, ever being alone.”


“Michael tells me he wants to stay friends with me about once a month,” Tara says. “It’s like, I have enough friends, thank you. Go work on yourself.”


“It isn’t easy maintaining all of these close bonds, but in the end, I think it’s worth it,” Michael said while figuring out what to get Tara for her birthday while also shopping for a new fedora.